1st Chistmas

Total success. Enjoyed each other's company, visited the neighbors (and started our day with a bloody mary and some of the best biscuts and susage gravy i've ever had. Yeah, i know. They're Yankees!), hung out with a friend from school, and spent the majority of the day in PJ's. I count this as a win.

Even started some new traditions for Christmas Eve, thanks to the brillance of Peggy and John Steele. Fondue smorgasboard food + lots of board games. (fueled with a little wine and lots of good cheer.)

Now if only the Cowboys would pull off a win so we can all get our Christmas wishes fulfilled.

First Christmas

Less than a week before Christmas! And two weeks of play ahead of me. :) I'm still running around trying to get everything done and packed and sent off to everyone before Christmas Day. (I feel we may need to take out a small loan to send out all the gifts! LOL!!) I had such fun making ornaments, that i wanted to send one to EVERYONE. Plus, gifts to parents, grandparents, brother/sis-in-law, and friends gets pricy when you're sending more than just a card. Totally worth it, though. I loooove gift giving more than gift getting....
As for myself, i'd rather have an adventure day and a picture to remember it by more than anything else in the world, which is why the time off is going to be so special. A lot of the cool touristy things Rich and i have wanted to do together since moving have been postponed either because of time or finances or both, but hopefully we will get to check some things off our our "wish list" soon. But really, i'm looking forward to Christmas day... just church with Ricard, being generally lazy, and relaxing together. Coffee, and breakfast with just Toak and Mini, and maybe a walk in the snow... if the weather cooperates and the wind isn't so cold. And only one rule: no projects or home improvement tasks for a whole day. whoo hoo!
We're so close to having many of our home projects done.. it feels like i'm forever saying that, though. Some days i just have to pretend the insanity doesn't exist, because it's impossible to clean up when you're living in a make-shift construction site.
Ah, well. Life is good.

Updates...

Can't sleep...time for updates:
We're going to have a "white christmas"! which doesn't excite anyone here in Chicago except maybe me... but it's pretty awesome.
We got our first snow on December 2nd, which is pretty late in the year for around here. I've been so swamped with the last weeks of school that i haven't really had time to enjoy it, but we did take some pictures of the house, and a test drive around the neighborhood...and a few days later i went to downtown Lake Forest to take pictures of the square to send to Grandma.
No snowman yet... soon, hopefully. :)

The house is looking so good... i'm so grateful and impressed with all the hard work Richard is (somehow) finding the time and energy to do. The new kitchen tile is IN and just needs to be grouted, and the new pendant lights are up over the sink. I know it's sad to say, but i'll be sad to see this house go after how amazing the kitchen (and the rest of the house) turned out. But Rich promises me that we can do it to any house we want to, and he'll be glad to do it to another one--in Texas--again. ;)

We've decorated for Christmas, and hopefully, this weekend i'll get my gifts finished up and sent off to people. I think we are going to be doing a "Christmas video DVD" instead of a letter, if Rich has his way. Fine by me, as long as i don't have to do the editing. I think it sounds like a fun idea.
School is going well... got to do a lot of awesome stuff lately. This semester is really picking up speed. Today we did a heart dissection. It was AMAZING. I can't wait to begin work. Or even just the clinicals...
*sigh*
Clinicals. That's on my heart lately. God will provide all the answers. "He can make a way where there seems to be no way." ...theme of my life. So...i'm trying to just not rush it and let it all fall into place. Still, i wish someone would respond soon so i don't look like i'm dragging my feet, when really i just have nothing to report and am trying to delay until i know what the plan is... So far, no one in Tx has jumped for joy at the idea of starting a new clinical site, so i might be duking it out with the rest of the crew for the available ones. We'll see.
Can't sleep tonight... too much on my mind. Including tomorrow's presentation that i'm nervous about. Not about speaking. I love public speaking  (unlike most people, i know), but the professor that is really, really into the details about the biochemistry and physiology of the disease i'll be speaking on has told me he plans to make an appearance for my presentation because he "loves the kidneys and their associated Pathologies"... so, lucky me, i'll be sure to have to answer questions at the end. Hopefully i am prepared for him...
Ok. enough procrastinating. I'm going to try to sleep.  Maybe.




I DID, "I DO", I ALWAYS WILL

6 months ago yesterday, was our wedding. 6 months ago today, we were on the road for a new town, new house, new life in Illinois.
Some days i feel like it was 6 years ago... like i can't really remember a time before being married and in school again. Other days, i still can't believe we've been married this long (it's flown by!), and i'm astounded that i'm half way through my first year in school.

I love being a wife. I have a great husband. And I had a good mom who was (and is) a good role model for what a helpmate looks like. Navigating the waters of "Team Notgrass" is tricky, but at least I have good examples of what a Godly marriage should look like, and i'm so grateful for that.

It means so much to me right now, with the unexpected "good news" of a friend who is getting remarried before the ink on her divorce is even dry. It's not my business, or concern, but with the whole ordeal being played out on Facebook, and her (mostly grown) daughters fighting and visibly hurt/conflicted over the relationships both old and new... it's just very real to me how often i take Marriage for granted as a lasting, life-long, loving relationship.

I know (even now, as a novice) that marriage takes work, and love is hard. And people are people, full of faults and sins and stupidity and foolishness and mistakes of all kinds. I'm aware people change, and two people, living as one, have to work to change and grow together even as they grow individually. None of it is magic, or easy, and no one should be judged (ESPECIALLY by me, a mere newlywed) on how they chose to live their lives and conduct their marriage...  but...wow.

To have parents, and grandparents, and in-laws, and aunts/uncles throughout the family who have stayed married through the hardships and heartaches or whatever trials and tribulations were thrown their way... what a great testament to marriage i've had, that i didn't even fully appreciate until i became a wife!

I'm barely even at the tip of the iceberg, i know. I have no wisdom to impart, nor should i be judging the relationships of others after half a year, right?! Our 80-something neighbors just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary last week. AMAZING. They are a wonderful couple who have so much to share about what it means to live "until death do us part", even when they don't use a single word. The way they care for each other, the way they look at one another, the mutual respect after so many years together... i want to be like them! Who wouldn't?!

My friend's news weighs on my heart. I want for her to be happy, but "congratulations" just don't seem to be in order. A month ago, she was asking for prayer requests as she and her ex-husband underwent counseling to try and reconcile their marriage... and i sense that maybe she said "Yes" to this new man simply because she was afraid to be alone, and even as an insult to her former partner about how quickly she could move on. But i don't sense a peace, or happiness, or completeness in her with the things she's said... and the things she's left unsaid. And that bothers me enough to write about it....and try to figure out why i can't simply express joy at her news.

I count my blessings that i'm only an outsider looking in, and i pray that i'll never have to face the heartache she or her family has felt in the last year... It only serves to remind me how much i need to respect and honor my marriage, and be grateful for the role models in my life. My mom is due a very big hug and a "thank you" the next time i see her. I may even tell her why.

Late Night update

Not feeling as funny tonight, but i realized, as i have no "followers" and no one to read this,... it really doesn't matter. I'm thinking of doing bullet points.

• Rich's new job is going well. I sense he enjoys having a job, because in a way, if you don't have a job to complain about, what do you have?! Exactly. Hence, the "i wish i had a job" is now a much cheerier "man, i wish i didn't have to go to work today." And everyone knows that's preferable, no?
• I'm officially on vacation. But not really. Before we fly out for Texas on tuesday, there are a lot of house things to get squared away... namely kitchen things, and mainly painting. Painting is my job. Some people are not cut out for painting. We let those people play with powertools instead---or go to work. Either is fine.
• I invited Mormons into the house yesterday. Still not sure why. They looked cold. So... now i have a(nother) book i wont read. Weird thing is, I didn't even really have a conversation with them that was worth having. I hadn't left the house all day, and i suppose at that point, ANY human interaction was better than watching the latest coat of paint dry. So mostly i nodded, let them de-thaw a bit, and was like..."Alrighty, then, fellas. Thanks. I'll be seein' ya." *sigh* Lame.
• Speaking of lame, i just checked my grades for my final Final. I indeed missed one, giving me a B.  SIX lousy, stinkin' questions long, over one of the most pertinant chapters in the book, and i miss one because i over-thought the answer and chose the "next best correct answer and not the VERY BEST one." Shoot.

That is all for now. Pics of the trip and of the house remodel maybe by Thanksgiving... hopefully.

Ok...so, i took a break from studying this past weekend, to go on a once-in-a-lifetime trip.

John Steele, our realtor (now lifelong-friend) had offered us the chance to vacation at his cabin in the woods of Michigan over the summer, but we never really gotten the chance to get away. This past weekend, however, he was headed up with his oldest daughter and grandson, and "needed a hand with winterizing the cabin and boathouse" before the lake froze over. Knowing this was one of the last times the offer was going to be extended before the snow started and ruined our chances of going, we agreed, and headed out friday afternoon after class.

A loooooong (7hr) car ride north, through the state of Wisconsin and into upper Michigan, and we'd finally made it to Steele Camp. It was after midnight, and the temperature was in the upper 20's. By the light of a flashlight, we were given a quick tour of the main cabin, and of the little house just down the hill at the edge of the lake,--our quarters for the weekend--the "boathouse." After rolling out the sleeping bags and climbing in, breath freezing in the air, we were fast asleep from exhaustion.

The next morning, we were awoken by the sound of birds...and the ringing of the bell from the main cabin, indicating it was time for breakfast. Since the boathouse had no heat, even the beauty of the sun rising above the lake from the screened-in porch didn't hold our attention for too long, and we hurried up into the warmth.


Now, to explain John...well...he and his family are really hippies. Good people. Everything they have, they share, and everyone is full of the most astounding stories. I adore their family, i really do. Besides them just being fascinating people, well...they makes mine look so normal... John and his wife Peggy have 14 kids...give or take. Four of them are biological, and the others are all foster kids they've adopted, most of whom have special needs on varying levels. The cabin is a place where ALL of them come together to get away, hang out together, bring friends, and just BE. And it is a beautiful disaster of a place. You never know what you're going to find stashed in nooks and crannys, from various works of art/craft, field guides, old newspapers... and it all has history they're more than excited to share. Parts of the cabin are original and rugged (John's grandfather was a master carpenter), and others are a hodge-podge of add-ons from subsequent generations, and family members with more "novice" carpentry skills, but the overall affect is cozy and inviting. There's no running water, though there is a sink, an old gas stove for cooking, and the lighting is either by firelight, kerosene lamp or old propane overhead lights in the main room. Quaint, indeed.

John and his oldest daughter and (only) grandson were there with us, and they already had the "Ben Franklin", the old wood stove that was the only source of heat, fired up, and breakfast ready when we arrived. Even some strong coffee was available, which is always welcomed in my world.
The rest of the day was full of adventures, from a nature hike on the property and surrounding nature reserve, to the hilarity of watching Richard and John brave the frigid lake water to bring up the pier. We saw and did so much in that one short Saturday that it's impossible to write about it all... i'll just have to let the pictures tell the story... (to be added individually at a later time. Blogspot is not cooperating tonight...)

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=41337&id=100000030597771&l=9d8ed786fc


That evening, there were S'mores, adult beverages, and lots more stories, jokes and games as the sun went down, and we settled in beside the fire... we talked late into the night before retiring to the boathouse and our warm sleeping bags once again.

Sunday brought the drizzle of rain, but once we'd enjoyed a lazy morning, the guys headed out to gather more wood and restock the pile for the next round of travelers to the cabin while the girls (and a 3yr old) cleaned and straightened, and readied the place for our departure. After lunch, a lot of "thank you's" and a few more pictures, we headed back home, just the two of us. We parted ways with the Steeles' at the top of the long, winding driveway, and drove a different way back to Waukegan than the way we'd come up, enjoying the ride and each other's company, and taking turns driving as we headed back to Waukegan.

It was an amazing adventure, and one i refuse to regret, even as my next exam looms in the distance and tries to make me feel guilty for abandoning studying for a few days... but so be it. It was worth it. What i did learn more than makes up for a letter grade. :)

Leadership...and sleepy ramblings

Ok... i can't sleep, and as the residual adderall courses through my system (i kid. ...mostly), i'm left to ponder such asinine things as the question John, our Program Director, has posed to us repeatedly, since our first Seminar class: "Are you leaders?" (It seems he's waiting on a good enough answer before he ceases to ask it every week, and so far, we just stare blankly at him, or roll our eyes... well, those of us awake enough during Seminar to do more than drool on our desks, that is.)

But, upon hours of lying awake, thinking of nothing and everything all at once, I think, the better question is "Is John a good leader?" ...and i think the question is completely valid. Here's my rambling argument on that one:

Leaders ≠ Managers (as we all know intrinsically whether we ever learned it in a classroom or not, via the joys of working for a living), and in fact, the best definition for Leadership is simply this:

                        "the ability to inspire others towards a common goal."

Because this definition does not include status, assume authority, or dictate that position/title is a key component, it is therefore, completely invalid to say we are NOT leaders based on our decision to become Path Assists and not Pathologists (which i know to be the basis behind his question in the first place, as it is commonly assumed anyone who would work under the direction of an MD must be incapable of being one themselves, and are therefore "followers" by nature. A misconception that is worth fighting, i agree, while at the same time disagreeing with his methodology...but i digress.)

In keeping with the idea that a leader is not defined by position or rank, it is valid to point out that the leaders of many strikes/riots/wars throughout history, are people in positions of subordinance, status-wise, and not in titled positions of authority. (Rabble-rousers come from all walks of life, do they not? And even leaders of evil and destruction are leaders by definition. I mean, hey, no one said it had to be organized!)

So, then, the question then becomes what denotes GOOD leadership from BAD leadership, and at its simplest answer, it must be concluded that leadership recognizes leadership potential in others. ie: one cannot "inspire others to a common goal" if there is no passing on of that inspiration. Or to reiterate, a single person can only inspire so many individuals based on the limitation of time/space, so it is considered "good leadership" to promote others to lead with you, thereby promoting the common goal and increasing the outreach potential.

So, i ask, then... "Is JOHN a good leader?" ...and isn't that the real answer to his question?! 

If he IS, then we are or will become leaders, because the implication is that John has the ability to detect leadership ability in each of us, thereby promoting his goal (which in this case, i will assume to be promoting the scope/professionalism of Path. Assists).

But.... If, however, by that same logic he is NOT a good leader, ...well.. it's at least possible then, that i might indeed BE a follower. 

Either way... maybe we'd get a new question. ;)

Good news

Today has been a very crazy, wonderful day.

The day started early... waaaay too early, in fact. Up early to study for an 8am exam, that I'd crashed out on too early last night because of a headache and extreme exhaustion.
Before i left for school, I made sure Richard was awake for his interview, and raced out the door.
Waiting on both cars were parking tickets (again! Grrrr! ...but that's a whole different story), so i removed the tickets from both cars so Richard wouldn't see them and be fuming over them and our arch enemy the infamous "Officer Vadge" (...again, a story for another day) on his way to the interview he was excited about.
I arrived to school to find no where to park in spite of the early hour, thanks to some poorly planned construction going on near our main building, but made it to the lab with 2 minutes to spare.

Time to begin....
and i blanked on question #1. 
OH, well, moving on....

But wait. Whats this? Blank on #2... no. really. No idea. So now the panic sets in.

This goes on until question #4, when things start to click again, and go a bit more smoothly.
By the last few, i felt more confident, and was able to return to all the previous questions, jot down something coherent, and finish in plenty of time. I even felt pretty good about it.

When Richard called text to tell me his interview had gone well, everything sounded like a go, I was on top of the world. :)

The rest of the day had some major snafus... some mildly comical and just minor inconveniences, others major upsets, but none of it could get me down. Last major test of the semester done, and a possible job that would be enjoyable for Rich while we're here?! i couldn't ask for more.

The world is looking up. God is good, and he provides. Thank goodness for all the great people in our life that remind of us that, even when we forget.

Poshlost

I have a new favorite word. (It's Russian.) "Poshlost" (or alternative spelling: "Poshlust") defined as, "something preposterously overdone but without self-knowledge or irony."
Coincidentally, i have a Russian classmate, whom i believe should change his name to Poshlost. Overly muscled, and unbearably obnoxious, this kid makes me want to strangle him on a daily basis. He's one of those guys who just might be considered attractive, if he weren't such a cocky, self-absorbed, obnoxious prick.
No, really. I'm telling it like it is. He's a total creeper.

Unfortunately, he is dating another classmate and friend who is also from Tx, so i must play nice for her sake.

Meh.

I can still slander him on the interweb, in the "privacy" of my blog, now can't i?! Yep.

3 days; 3 millions emotions

OH, the 3 day weekend. I didn't know it could be so full of things to write about! However, mine was especially eventful, including some amazing photographic opportunities, a road trip, and one complete meltdown. Ah, yes... to be a woman is phenominal, i tell you.

Saturday was girl's day at the Chicago Botanical Gardens. It was a recipe for success: 4 great girls, a 4 hour hike on the grounds amongst the most beautiful Fall foliage on a perfect little lake--including a pit stop for ice cream cones under the "square trees"--and a fantastic late lunch at PF Chang's sealed the deal, and i came home a pretty happy camper. Granted, the house was still a mess (i'd decided i'd put it off until Sunday), and Richard was disappointed in Baylor's preformance on the field that afternoon, but generally... a total win.
See below for a few pics with the amazing ladies, and a shot of our ice-cream stop.



 

Sam, Minnie, Me & Jamie-Lou

 

"Square trees"



Ahh, but Sunday. Sunday, life took a nosedive to insanity-land. 

It started out normally... i'd made the decision to clean the house. Not just the normal straighten, either, but a GOOD, organizing, purging sort of clean. The weather outside threatened to thwart this plan altogether, but nooo... responsible adults do not just go off all willy-nilly two days in a row and play when things need to get done, now do they?! The voice of my mother said "No, ma'am, they don't," so, reluctantly, i threw on a fun, brightly colored apron from my mom-in-law (an attempt at making something awful seem fun), and turned on some upbeat music.

Now, as i have already discovered, i HATE the act of sorting and organizing. It's not like i can't throw things out. I can. And i do enjoy that. But i get overwhelmed quite easily, and frustraited at my indecisiveness. It's a vicious cycle. And it boils down to one thing: i have too much stuff, and not enough space for things i don't need. Add that to my inability to stay on task (it's awful. i like to mask it as "multitasking" but we all know what it is.) ... well, enter my cheerful husband, full of Autumn sunshine and air to ask "what it was i was doing", and it was as if i'd been ignited. Full on Hollis-atomic-bomb style.

Now, the good Lord knew what he was doing when he gave me a level-headed hubby, because once he'd discovered me tearing the house to bits, tears streaming down my face, ranting about how "i wished a fire would just take it all", he quickly formulated a plan. I was obviously beyond rational thinking, and "NO, i did not want to talk about it, thank-you-very-much", (and any mention of what time of month it was would have gotten him severely beaten.) So he did what any smart man would do: He left.

He wasn't gone long, though, and when he returned, he had a beer (my favorite pumpkin one), and a giant cardboard box. With a long hug, and a "Here...maybe these will help" he left me to my miserable task and went out to work on other things. Projects with much easier solutions than the one the obviously crazy person in the house was currently working on. Wise, i tell you. Wise.

Hours later, i emerged from my self-made prison a calmer, more organized person. I'd filled not just one, but several boxes of stuff to purge, and found/organized all the important paperwork i'd been hiding away or shoving into piles for months. Ahhhhhhh! :)

"Better?" Richard asked.

"Yep. Much better."

And we went to have cocktails and a late dinner with the neighbors.

(no pictures have been included of the insanity, for everyone's sake.)

Monday. Oh, joyous holiday off of school... a special thanks to Columbus for this one. :)

With the perfect weather continuing, we decided a roadtrip was in order. It had been a long time since we'd gone on an "adventure drive," which is really just a roadtrip with no known destination, and it's one of our favorite things to do together. So, the decision to head north was made. We grabbed the cameras, and headed off in the car with the fullest gas tank.

As the highways split off, we'd alternately pick directions to take, stopping along the way to take pictures or follow odd signs to trails or historic landmarks. Fall is amazing, and Wisconsin is absolutely breathtaking this time of year, with the corn still standing, and the leaves changing in the background... it was not even something i can adequately capture with a single shot, though i tried. You just have to see it.

Eventually, we ended up near Madison, WI, so lunch near the capital building was in order. As it turns out, Richard has an uncanny ability to scope out the good food in an area, even if that area is unknown to him. The Great Dane proved to be a fantastic place to get good microbrew beer (only available in the restaruant, not bottled anywhere), and an amazing meal. I had a butternut squash stew that just BEGS me to learn how it was made, and Richard had a side of fried plantains with his grilled portabello mushroom sandwich that makes my mouth water just remembering it. We ate so much we had to walk it off before returning to the car for the ride home. Madison is like a northern version of Austin... lots of hippies = some excellent people watching.

We came home via a different route, and arrived back at the house late (and exhausted) but satisfied with the day's events. Our kitties seemed unamused when i told them what we'd seen, and were merely concerned that dinner had been delayed. Oh well. At least some things remain constant in our household.

  


Our little corner @ The Great Dane



Sweet defeat

Today was a frustraiting sort of day. After waiting for a week to finally try a new recipe...it was kind of a failure. I had such sweet ideas for the so-called "cake balls"... but i think perhaps i was too prideful.
I thought it would be really simple, and i even decided to change the recipe and "improve" on it by using candy melts instead of almond bark (more colors, more flavors...more artistic and fun! It seemed like the perfect choice.)
Alas, it was not to be. They best laid plans... well.. sometimes are not to be. :)
I did finally get 6 made... And with Richard eating one and calling it good, well... that is five left to package up and take picture of.
And a whole day tomorrow to right the wrongs, and try again. I WILL defeat you, Cake Munchkins. Indeed, i will.

Death by paperwork

In answer to those that think i only write about rainbows and sunshine, well, today is a full on gripe about paperwork.
I hate it. With an all consuming passion, i hate paperwork. And that includes most of my mail. Lord bless the post office, and my mom, and i'm sorry for being the daughter of a Postmaster who almost dreads the coming of the mailman... but there it is.

Of course, i don't hate letters, or packages, lest someone get the wrong idea. Send me those all day long. (no, really. Keep 'em coming.) But i get the most absurd mail for someone named Mr. Hollis H. Notgrass. Seriously. You'd think a marriage and a name change might have clued some people in to the fact that i am most definately not a "mister," but no luck. Between Mr. Hollis' mail, a TON of junk mail, and endless paperwork from my bank--although i've signed up for "paperless" bank statments more than once, along with the insane amount of handouts that the school somehow feels are important for me to have, in triplicate...i'm drowning in it.

Granted, some of it i do need... but i just hate sorting through it, figuring out a filing system, and all of that. Sooo adult, i know, i know... it just literally makes me ache to my very core. I cannot say it enough. I'd rather do mega-mountians of laundry. I'd even match socks. (OMG, i detest matching socks, and i'd seriously consider shelling out the $ for the sock-matching robot i heard about on NPR. No, really. there is one. See it here.)
Maybe it's the thought of actually siting down long enough to file it, or maybe it's the thought of moving it around later, i don't know.

I'd kind of hoped that getting married would mean i wouldn't have to do it anymore. Absurd, for sure, but i wistfully believed that perhaps he would be the yin to my yang and when it came to paying bills and organizing the stacks of paperwork that come along with being homeowners (and grad studends) he'd be all "OooOOooooH, it's my favorite time again! Wheeeeee!"
Alas... no such luck. *grumble*
So i'm stuck moving it from pile to pile, not sure where it's going to go, until i get fed up and stuff it in a drawer. There now. Out of sight, out of mind. Peeerrrrrfect. :)

Fallin' Behind

I. love. Fall.
My sinus would not agree with me, but never mind them. They're never happy.

It's seriously like they are going through some sort of teenage girl ritual, trying on outfit after colorful outfit, casting them off one by one with dissatisfaction... and i find myself facinated with it all. No. Really. Totally distracted at school, daydreaming about when i can get back outside again. Studying has become increasingly difficult. I know this is routine for everyone around here, but for me it's not. A classmate jokingly told me that i am "nauseatingly optomistic" about the upcoming seasons. Eh, perhaps she is right...but it is an artist's dream world!

Most of the time, when you paint a tree, you've got to use a lot of green. And don't get me wrong, i have nothing against green. In fact, it is my favorite color. But that aside, trees are generally green. We recognize kid's drawings of trees as simple sticks with circles of green on top and go..."Ohhh,..a tree. Very nice, Billy." But a stick drawing with ORANGE and RED and PURPLE and YELLOW and all the eleventymillion colors inbetween on top, well...somehow that's just not recoginzable as a tree. But it IS, i tell you! And it happens every year! Eeee!

Richard takes all of this excitement in stride. Today, when i burst through the door with a breathless, "THE OAKS ARE STARTING!" and triumphantly thrust a handful of leaves towards him, he replied calmly, "what? ...oh, uh, yeah." *sigh*

Perhaps i'm just trying to store up colors and sights in my brain before it's all over and winter comes and makes it all colorless and white and drab? I dunno... it's as good an explaination as any.

Hello, my name is Hollis....and i'm a color hoarder.

Trials and Fires

 I'm already painfully aware that i am going to miss school. Nothing is quite like the bonding experience that high levels of stress can provoke in people. ...and i'm blessed with a lot of good people in my life.

I simply have no way of knowing the experience that soldiers have in times of war, but i'd have to imagine it is a million times that of what i am getting a taste of now. The people who are battling alongside me are my newfound friends and family, and we know, unlike anyone else can, how devistating it is when one of us falls.

The Pathology test we took on Monday was horrendous. Words cannot describe how READY, how ultimately prepared i felt going into the test, and how crushing the blow was when i kept reading questions that i could not even wrap my mind around. It was more than mere forgetfulness. I had spent hours with my notes and the book pouring over what i thought was going to be covered. As a class, we had come together like never before to compile a Checklist to help teach ourselves important key concepts. It was an amazing accomplishment in and of itself.

But no one who grades that test will ever know. We all faltered. Together. *sigh*

However, it's amazing what a few twinkle-lights, a warm fire on an Autumn night, and good food can do to lift the spirits! (And, of course, an amazing husband to act as light-stringer, host and all-around hero.)
No one was optomistic about the exam. Even those that normally set the curve (when there is such grace) were not in high spirits. But for a few hours, we used our grief as fuel to eat, drink and be as merry as possible. (Griping was allowed. And welcomed. ...it went in rounds, really... a little laughter, a little crying, another S'more or two...) And it was a great night, that made up for a disappointing day. A win, in the end.

yeah... i'll miss this. The pain and defeat sometimes take their toll on us. And more than once, there have been tears and streams of curses flowing at the same time, but... it's worth it. I'm right where i want to be.

I love my life.

Ugg

This weekend it finally got cold enough to wear my Uggs for the first time. JOY!

I've never owned Uggs. And i know some people think they are the Ugg-liest shoes ever. But i don't care. They are waaaaarm and fuzzy, (and pink, in my case) and i love them. And have been waiting to wear them for MONTHS, even before we left Texas. (Of course, i made fun of people who wore them in Texas. With good reason. It's HOT. And people wore them paired with Nike shorts. Which, fashion statement or not, makes me just roll my eyes at the absurditiy.) Ahhh, but today, i wore them the RIGHT way! :)

Granted, it wasn't freezing out, but it was so much fun. Even with no real place to go, and no one to see me--well...except my good friend Jamie for a study session in Pathology--warm, toasty boots just make Fall all the more REAL.

Yep. Even just a day of studying was fun with new boots.

Aaaaand... Action!

Blog one.
I can begin a journal like a champ. I usually write well the first day...with New Year's resolution resolve. And then, nothing for weeks. Eventually, i lose it, or just throw the thing out, because, let's face it...where does one actually KEEP a journal? By the bed seems absurd, because i've never thought, "ahhh, off to bed i go! Now, where's my pen?!" I usually fall in bed half passed-out alread, and i can never find a pen, no matter what time of day it is. Dryers eat socks, my house eats pens. I dunno. (Besides that, i'm an eraser kind of girl. And no one wants eraser dust in their bed. Ugh.)

...Plus, i purge when i move. And moving is kind of like a lifestyle for me, especially lately, and is not bound to change for a while.

The most recent move was to Illinois, with Richard (hurray for our first home as a married couple!), but it certainly wont be our last. Heck, we don't know where we will be living a year from now when i do my clinical rotation for Pathology, much where we will end up after that. Packing is a horrid chore, and if you can eliminate even one book...ONE less thing to pack, it's a plus.

So, thus enters the new technology: BLOGGING. ok, ok...so it's not new. It's not even really all that new to me. But i've never made an official site before. But now, now i'll have a place to gripe AT LENGTH about school, and all sorts of stuff, all while avoiding studying! Exciting, no?! OH yes! (well, ...we'll see. All of this is assuming i can actually have a second posting before the turn of the century.) So, i'm excited to begin.

...but for now, back to studying so that i "know Pathology" as well as i "know myself." *sigh*