Fallin' Behind

I. love. Fall.
My sinus would not agree with me, but never mind them. They're never happy.

It's seriously like they are going through some sort of teenage girl ritual, trying on outfit after colorful outfit, casting them off one by one with dissatisfaction... and i find myself facinated with it all. No. Really. Totally distracted at school, daydreaming about when i can get back outside again. Studying has become increasingly difficult. I know this is routine for everyone around here, but for me it's not. A classmate jokingly told me that i am "nauseatingly optomistic" about the upcoming seasons. Eh, perhaps she is right...but it is an artist's dream world!

Most of the time, when you paint a tree, you've got to use a lot of green. And don't get me wrong, i have nothing against green. In fact, it is my favorite color. But that aside, trees are generally green. We recognize kid's drawings of trees as simple sticks with circles of green on top and go..."Ohhh,..a tree. Very nice, Billy." But a stick drawing with ORANGE and RED and PURPLE and YELLOW and all the eleventymillion colors inbetween on top, well...somehow that's just not recoginzable as a tree. But it IS, i tell you! And it happens every year! Eeee!

Richard takes all of this excitement in stride. Today, when i burst through the door with a breathless, "THE OAKS ARE STARTING!" and triumphantly thrust a handful of leaves towards him, he replied calmly, "what? ...oh, uh, yeah." *sigh*

Perhaps i'm just trying to store up colors and sights in my brain before it's all over and winter comes and makes it all colorless and white and drab? I dunno... it's as good an explaination as any.

Hello, my name is Hollis....and i'm a color hoarder.

Trials and Fires

 I'm already painfully aware that i am going to miss school. Nothing is quite like the bonding experience that high levels of stress can provoke in people. ...and i'm blessed with a lot of good people in my life.

I simply have no way of knowing the experience that soldiers have in times of war, but i'd have to imagine it is a million times that of what i am getting a taste of now. The people who are battling alongside me are my newfound friends and family, and we know, unlike anyone else can, how devistating it is when one of us falls.

The Pathology test we took on Monday was horrendous. Words cannot describe how READY, how ultimately prepared i felt going into the test, and how crushing the blow was when i kept reading questions that i could not even wrap my mind around. It was more than mere forgetfulness. I had spent hours with my notes and the book pouring over what i thought was going to be covered. As a class, we had come together like never before to compile a Checklist to help teach ourselves important key concepts. It was an amazing accomplishment in and of itself.

But no one who grades that test will ever know. We all faltered. Together. *sigh*

However, it's amazing what a few twinkle-lights, a warm fire on an Autumn night, and good food can do to lift the spirits! (And, of course, an amazing husband to act as light-stringer, host and all-around hero.)
No one was optomistic about the exam. Even those that normally set the curve (when there is such grace) were not in high spirits. But for a few hours, we used our grief as fuel to eat, drink and be as merry as possible. (Griping was allowed. And welcomed. ...it went in rounds, really... a little laughter, a little crying, another S'more or two...) And it was a great night, that made up for a disappointing day. A win, in the end.

yeah... i'll miss this. The pain and defeat sometimes take their toll on us. And more than once, there have been tears and streams of curses flowing at the same time, but... it's worth it. I'm right where i want to be.

I love my life.

Ugg

This weekend it finally got cold enough to wear my Uggs for the first time. JOY!

I've never owned Uggs. And i know some people think they are the Ugg-liest shoes ever. But i don't care. They are waaaaarm and fuzzy, (and pink, in my case) and i love them. And have been waiting to wear them for MONTHS, even before we left Texas. (Of course, i made fun of people who wore them in Texas. With good reason. It's HOT. And people wore them paired with Nike shorts. Which, fashion statement or not, makes me just roll my eyes at the absurditiy.) Ahhh, but today, i wore them the RIGHT way! :)

Granted, it wasn't freezing out, but it was so much fun. Even with no real place to go, and no one to see me--well...except my good friend Jamie for a study session in Pathology--warm, toasty boots just make Fall all the more REAL.

Yep. Even just a day of studying was fun with new boots.

Aaaaand... Action!

Blog one.
I can begin a journal like a champ. I usually write well the first day...with New Year's resolution resolve. And then, nothing for weeks. Eventually, i lose it, or just throw the thing out, because, let's face it...where does one actually KEEP a journal? By the bed seems absurd, because i've never thought, "ahhh, off to bed i go! Now, where's my pen?!" I usually fall in bed half passed-out alread, and i can never find a pen, no matter what time of day it is. Dryers eat socks, my house eats pens. I dunno. (Besides that, i'm an eraser kind of girl. And no one wants eraser dust in their bed. Ugh.)

...Plus, i purge when i move. And moving is kind of like a lifestyle for me, especially lately, and is not bound to change for a while.

The most recent move was to Illinois, with Richard (hurray for our first home as a married couple!), but it certainly wont be our last. Heck, we don't know where we will be living a year from now when i do my clinical rotation for Pathology, much where we will end up after that. Packing is a horrid chore, and if you can eliminate even one book...ONE less thing to pack, it's a plus.

So, thus enters the new technology: BLOGGING. ok, ok...so it's not new. It's not even really all that new to me. But i've never made an official site before. But now, now i'll have a place to gripe AT LENGTH about school, and all sorts of stuff, all while avoiding studying! Exciting, no?! OH yes! (well, ...we'll see. All of this is assuming i can actually have a second posting before the turn of the century.) So, i'm excited to begin.

...but for now, back to studying so that i "know Pathology" as well as i "know myself." *sigh*