Heavy stuff

You know what makes you fat? Here are a few things:

School, and sitting in one place, studying all the time
Marriage, especially to a good cook who thinks butter, heavy creme and garlic are major food groups
Cold winters in the north, and the temps that make you want to eat lots of rich food and stay inside

I've had all three in the past year, and now, nothing I own fits. Crap.

*sigh* Only one thing to do: DIET. *shudder*

So, i'm trying to make-over my life now that i'm in Houston, land of the blistering sun and squelching heat, where hiding behind lots of layers just wont do. ...In fact, if you do, you'll likely pass out from heat stroke.  Of course, the problem is, i love beer. And food. And now, instead of being in a place where you can't go out because of the snow and ice, i'm now living in a place where it is over 80 degrees by the time the sun comes up.  Which means i'm just like everyone else, guess. I'm full of excuses no matter what the temperature! *grumble*

Thanks to Hungry Girl online cookbooks, and being dirt poor at the moment, i think i can do it, though. I HAVE to do it. I can't afford new clothes. And since going naked is not an option for SO many reasons, i suppose that means it's time for a change. So, my goal? 20lbs. But i'll take even 10, if it means i can get healthy again.

Current weight: 140 (scary to put out there, in black and white, but there it is.)
At 5'2", that is not good. I've been witnessing firsthand what happens to your body when you have too much fat in your diet... Pathology is good at lifting that veil and letting you peek behind the curtain. It's so much more than vanity... it's deadly. Multiple autopsies i've been allowed to see and help with in the last month have shown just how hard it is on a heart to be even a little bit obese. And that's heavy stuff.

SO, bitching aside, i'm going to try to keep track of the struggle here. Be prepared for a lot of whining, cause it's not going to be pretty. LOL

Fourth Fun and (keeping your) fingers

I LOVE the 4th of July!!

 I love fireworks. I'm such a firebug... if playing with fire really did lead to bedwetting, i'd be sleeping in a waterbed by now. I'm serious. Fire and sparkle and light... *squeeeee!*
SO, i love the 4th for that reason, for one. It's like everyone is afflicted by the same pyro-tendencies that I am for a night. Everyone is caught up in the same insanity... it's magnificent!

 I remember watching fireworks at Disney with my family when i was a little girl, laying on the soft grass--oh, and not that "normal" St. Augustine grass like we had in our lawn, but the bug-free, velvety-soft, spongy grass that's only found on golf courses--and looking up at the wide expanse of sky, with the live orchestra playing in time with each ear-splitting *BOOM* and the crowd "Oooh-ing" together with each explosion of color and light...  It's enough to make a kid feel small and helpless, but somehow it was so empowering--and still is. I'm addicted.

I wanted sparklers at my wedding, but alas, it was not to be. They wouldn't light as we exited, so at the last minute, we used bubbles instead. 

Nice, but not the same. *shrug*  ...i mean, you can't get the same feeling from a bubble. It just reflects light, it doesn't create it.  I mean, don't get me wrong: i like Bubbles. Especially this one:

BUBBLES is by far my favorite PowerPuff girl. ;)

But i digress... FIREWORKS are where it's at, people. The loud, booming, light-up the night kind. And i'm not into having wars with them, or blowing fingers off. That's not cool. I've seen severed fingers before. It's part of my job, and i always wonder around the 4th how many more we'll get in the lab and i'll have to think: "oh, man...i wonder if this firework was really worth never being able to properly text or play angry birds again."  Sad.  (And totally not what i'm referring to.)

What i truly love the smells of summer, the feel of the grass, the light and sound, and the feeling in your chest when the bass booms along with each rocket that goes up to light up the sky, and the way your heart widens and feels FULL as you watch the magnificence of it all. THAT is celebration. And what better way to celebrate the freedoms of our God-blessed country than with something as awe-inspiring as that!?! :)

Online exams

I hate exams. I have text anxiety.  It's not a BS, made up malady, i swear. I don't know why it is that i'm not afraid of public speaking, heights, or talking a perfect stranger's ear off about crap i know (or sometimes know nothing about), but i get all spazzy and start to break out in hives the moment i have to take a test.

ME

Seriously, I must be allergic. And it's not easy to concentrate when you're having heart palpitations and itching like you just swam in poison ivy, believe me.

Unfortunately, since i voluntarily signed up for two years worth of urticaria (a fancy-schmancy, highbrow word for "hives" that consequently i was just tested on), there is no hope for relief until after graduation in May 2012. YEAH ME!

And worse? I just took an exam where you have to press the button and you get an IMMEDIATE SCORE. Do you know how awful that is?! I don't want to know! What happened to the days when i was in school and i could go weeks before knowing how i did on a test, and by the time i found out, i was over it? Technology is not necessarily making my life better. I'd like the opportunity to at least drink a beer between taking a hyperventilation-inducing exam and pressing a "submit" button to learn how i did. Is that too much to ask, really?

But nope. This exam was not only online, which has the added fear factor that suddenly my internet will cut out on me, rendering my answers obsolete, but when it told me the ones i'd missed, some of them were incorrectly keyed, so my score is not even reflective of what i know. GREAT. Just GREAT.

*laughs psychotically*