So i'm going to pretend it hasn't been forever since i've last posted, and do a quick catchup since last time:
Haven't lost weight at bootcamp, thanks to getting ill, including a sinus infection which set me back from working out a good two weeks. Oh well. Not the biggest worry... Right now, i'm actually in FLORIDA (land of warmth and sunshine), although the circumstances are less than ideal to say the least.
My Uncle Dave passed away this time last week, when my Aunt finally had the courage to pull the plug, and say her goodbyes. He'd gone downhill rapidly in the past month or so, although he'd been fighting Stage IV colon cancer for over two years. I say that, but really, the number is more like 5 years.. he just didn't tell anyone prior to that. Which is really the tragedy of it all. I work in Pathology. I spend hours each day in school right now, learning about the staging of cancers, the patterns of disease, the ultimate demise of the human body, and how it we wage war against it at every step. And time and time again, i'm awestruck by how many people IGNORE warning signs altogether, and prefer to live in complete and utter denial, usually fueled by fear. Prevention can be easy, at least with good insurance... but that's not really the issue. Even when people have insurance, and the ability to go for checkups and look into issues when they are sick, so often they don't bother to go at all, or YEARS after they notice something is wrong. Or they neglect to take their medication as prescribed when they know it is the key to keeping the sickness at bay. ...and for so many reasons. We want to be healthy, we want doctors to have "magical cures" but so often people are so outright neglectful of their own health, and then pissed that they can't be made whole again. I mean the disconnect is stunning when you think about it.
My Uncle hid his illness until he absolutely couldn't any longer, and he was taken to the hospital for seemingly "benign" reasons (a hernia issue, i believe was what he claimed), but he
had to know by then that things were far worse than he wanted to believe or let on. And even after the diagnosis, he lived like there were a million tomorrows around the corner. He didn't even prepare a will, and he lived for two years after being initially diagnosed. Even in the face of returning to the hospital to have surgery for a metastasis in his brain, he allowed his wife to think that things were better than they were, and (i'm sure) believed these things himself.
And his story is not uncommon. In Pathology, we get the tiniest biopsies for preventative care, and the most horrific, grotesque, unbelievable specimens you can possibly imagine from doctor's offices and hospitals where you just know the person was more afraid of the treatment or diagnosis than whatever the pain or lesion happened to inflict, so they just let things go. But it's so SENSELESS, and it makes me so angry, and upset and... ultimately, saddened.
I'm mourning the passing of my uncle, and grieving with my family over his death, but i'm also genuinely pissed off that he could be so stupid and neglectful in a way that ultimately affected his family more than it affected him. To ignore pain and blood and whatever signs/symptoms he may have had in favor of living a lie is not bravery. It is cowardice. Not filling out a will, or preparing for your death so that you leave a plan for your wife to carry on without you is not courageous. It is stupid, and the effects are long lasting.
Now my grandparents bare the bulk of the responsibility to help their daughter-in-law, who was left devastated both by my uncle's death, and his reckless way of living his last few years on earth. How unfair is THAT!?
... So anyway, i'm in Florida. And not in Illinois (where it's snowing as i type this). And I'm trying to be a comforter and a maintain a mournful air about it all, but I am not alone in thinking that some tragedies are not merely sad because of the devastation caused, but by the realization that so much of the damage could have been prevented.
