6 months ago yesterday, was our wedding. 6 months ago today, we were on the road for a new town, new house, new life in Illinois.
Some days i feel like it was 6 years ago... like i can't really remember a time before being married and in school again. Other days, i still can't believe we've been married this long (it's flown by!), and i'm astounded that i'm half way through my first year in school.
I love being a wife. I have a great husband. And I had a good mom who was (and is) a good role model for what a helpmate looks like. Navigating the waters of "Team Notgrass" is tricky, but at least I have good examples of what a Godly marriage should look like, and i'm so grateful for that.
It means so much to me right now, with the unexpected "good news" of a friend who is getting remarried before the ink on her divorce is even dry. It's not my business, or concern, but with the whole ordeal being played out on Facebook, and her (mostly grown) daughters fighting and visibly hurt/conflicted over the relationships both old and new... it's just very real to me how often i take Marriage for granted as a lasting, life-long, loving relationship.
I know (even now, as a novice) that marriage takes work, and love is hard. And people are people, full of faults and sins and stupidity and foolishness and mistakes of all kinds. I'm aware people change, and two people, living as one, have to work to change and grow together even as they grow individually. None of it is magic, or easy, and no one should be judged (ESPECIALLY by me, a mere newlywed) on how they chose to live their lives and conduct their marriage... but...wow.
To have parents, and grandparents, and in-laws, and aunts/uncles throughout the family who have stayed married through the hardships and heartaches or whatever trials and tribulations were thrown their way... what a great testament to marriage i've had, that i didn't even fully appreciate until i became a wife!
I'm barely even at the tip of the iceberg, i know. I have no wisdom to impart, nor should i be judging the relationships of others after half a year, right?! Our 80-something neighbors just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary last week. AMAZING. They are a wonderful couple who have so much to share about what it means to live "until death do us part", even when they don't use a single word. The way they care for each other, the way they look at one another, the mutual respect after so many years together... i want to be like them! Who wouldn't?!
My friend's news weighs on my heart. I want for her to be happy, but "congratulations" just don't seem to be in order. A month ago, she was asking for prayer requests as she and her ex-husband underwent counseling to try and reconcile their marriage... and i sense that maybe she said "Yes" to this new man simply because she was afraid to be alone, and even as an insult to her former partner about how quickly she could move on. But i don't sense a peace, or happiness, or completeness in her with the things she's said... and the things she's left unsaid. And that bothers me enough to write about it....and try to figure out why i can't simply express joy at her news.
I count my blessings that i'm only an outsider looking in, and i pray that i'll never have to face the heartache she or her family has felt in the last year... It only serves to remind me how much i need to respect and honor my marriage, and be grateful for the role models in my life. My mom is due a very big hug and a "thank you" the next time i see her. I may even tell her why.
No comments:
Post a Comment