Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Shuttle Capades

So, i ride a shuttle to work everyday.---Alright, my "internship", if you want to get technical about it. I know it's free labor, but you don't gotta rub it in. Geesh.---Which is awesome, because it saves me gas, a parking fee (which even buying one doesn't secure me a spot by any means), and offers loads of entertainment.
My pimp ride, yo


And not so much from the people, as the bus drivers. They're characters. Which, i suppose you'd have to be a little crazy to drive a bus full of b*tchy people every day, weaving in and out of the Houston traffic, so I can't say i'm surprised to find out they all have a screw loose. Good people, though.  Ms. Cynthia, and Mr. Keith... they make life interesting, i tell you.

Ms Cynthia is a 50-something, "big boned", black lady, with enough Southern charm to... well, i don't know even how to finish that. I'm sure there's a good saying out there, but none come to mind. Anywhoo, she listens to Christian radio every morning when she comes to pick us up, and personally greets every singe rider with a cheery "Well, goooood mornin'!" even if they are as sour as lemons and groggy from just waking up and rushing to catch the bus. She says, "Thank you now, and have a blessed day!" to every person as they get off at their stop... Really, every person, without fail. And i and i think she really means it. This woman is kind to everyone, and remembers little things about your week, or changes your schedule and drop off location... it's uncanny.

But Lord have mercy, you should hear her rant and rave and carry on about the recent problems with the Ice Cream Delivery Man at her local grocery store. Ms. Cynthia needs "Blue Bell Buttered Pecan" ice cream like crops need rain. And when the delivery guy who stocks the freezers doesn't deliver, things Do. Not. Go. Well.                     For anyone.
I'm almost considering scouring every store in town and buying some for her, but i have yet to figure out the logistics on such a venture. I can't really see myself buying a gallon and dropping it off in place of my token one morning... or can I? I mean, she can't drive and eat it, and saving it for later when her route ends poses an issue.
'Cause, look, I'm definitely not buying the woman a cooler AND ice to go with the tub of ice cream just to get her back in a good mood. ...well, not just yet, anyway.

<----Apparently made with more than just sugar. It sweets people for REAL, yo.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Booze Cakes

Ok, so have alreade confessed i like making cakes. And eating. And drinking. And not working out. *sigh* But i digress...

Today, after work, i combined two things i love the most: Cake (and giving it away, because everyone needs a sweet pick-me-up surprise) and alcohol. Yep. Booze Cake. Which incidentally, is the name of a great book i want to buy. In case you couldn't guess, it's all about alcoholic cakes...or at least ones that are inspired by great drinks.

But since i don't actually OWN it yet, i decided to do a little creating on my own, with a new favorite of mine: Patron XO cafe. A master in disguise. Is it tequila? A coffee liqueur? BOTH, my friends. And fabulous in coffee, or in a small cordial glass at the end of a long day.

Now, normally, I'm not a huge tequila fan. I do have the occasional margarita (i do live in Tx now, and having one now and again is a must), but this stuff is so silky smooth, and really like a sweet espresso...with a bit of a spicy kick. YUM! And i love coffee. Chocolote covered coffee beans, too... which got me thinking. This stuff could be the perfect addition to a cake, either baked right in, or brushed on after it cooled, nestled right there between the cake and the frosting. Like a "BOY HOWDY" for your palate!

And paired with coconut and two kinds of chocolate? What could possibly go wrong with that?!

NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Except losing all willpower to lose weight and trying a few myself, of course. But that's considered quality control.

So, i'm proud to report, the Patron XO Cafe Cake is pretty tasty. And since i made them as cakeballs, they're shippable, too. Any takers? ;)


Sunday, August 7, 2011

Mixed Up

I love cake. Baking them, decorating them, eating them... it's such fun. The house smells so good when there is fresh cake in the oven. Of course, the decorating is my favorite part, even when it takes weeks of prep and planning. Right now, i have two superfun cakes on the horizon, and a I daydream about them all the time, mulling over ideas and techniques in my head on how to make it come out right.

One of them is for a little girl's birthday party, where she wants everything Princess-ized. NO, really. They even get a limo (?!) to take them around in...

...although just where a 6 yr. old goes in a limo, i have no idea. McDonalds, maybe? http://girlthangparties.com/home.html
Anyway... i get to make the cake, and i'm pumped. This is not just "any customer" either, but the daughter of a good friend of mine who I met at my first job as a histotech, years ago. We haven't seen each other in years, and now she's pregnant with her second little one (about to pop), and i'm excited to hug her neck and catch up on what's new. Since we started working together, so much has happened... I've gotten married, stopped being a histotech to go back to school and become a PA, moved to Chicago and back to Tx again, ...and she's found love, moved cities, changed jobs though is still a histotech in a new lab, and has a new baby on the way.  Hurray for old friends! And cake makes it all possible.

Why cake is the food of choice for parties and celebrations, i'm not quite sure. I'm glad of it, don't get me wrong... because i'd make and eat it either way. But my hubby asked me recently: "Why cake? How is it that cake is elevated to 'superstar status' on birthdays and weddings instead of pie or pudding or cheesecake?" ...this coming from the man who loves cheesecake and chocolate above all other desserts. In fact, we had it at our wedding instead of cake. ...but in truth, i don't know, really...and I feel i should, so I'm going to look it up and post it here. (I'll ask Google. Google knows everything, you know.)


... ahhh... so here it is if you've ever wondered: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthday_cake  Leave it to the Germans! Wikipedia says, "In the 15th century, bakeries in Germany conceived the idea of marketing one-layer cakes for customers' birthdays as well as for only their weddings, and thus the modern birthday cake was born." Well, hot dang. I'm decended from some pretty brillant people, I have to say. It could have been any dessert, but cake....well, it "took the cake", so to speak. ;) Sorry. I'm feeling especially punny right now.

So, now i'm going back and forth between doing school work, and letting the creativity bubble up as I design the best princess cake ever. Delivery next week... and pics to follow.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Changes and upgrades in scenery

Ok, so i'm changing up the blog look. Not so much the feel, cause i'm sure it will still be random silly ramblings that come to me at odd times... but it is at least getting a bit of a focus.

For those that "follow" (what the heck? why on earth would you do that?!), here's a quick backgroud on the duality of me:

I started cake decorating as a means to an end. My parents weren't about to pay for school, so when i lost my scholarship (Uh, huh... bad apple right here), i had to find a job. I went into wal-mart, and was looking at cakes on a whim. What?!? ...Hey, i like cakes even when there is no occasion, ok? Don't judge me.
Anyway, i was looing at cakes, and a smart ass nice lady asked, "hey, you ever decorated cakes before, 'cause we need help like YESTERDAY, and you can start now!" Little did i know, she was being mouthy to her boss, who kept nagging her that she was too slow and needed help. I said "Yep. i do that." (i didn't at the time) And i was hired on the spot.
So, thus my training began. I found that i was pretty good at it, and liked it enough to leave walmart and starting doing cakes on my own. And Heffycakes.com was born.

Now, i did finish my undergrad, thanks to the odd jobs and a lot of cake makin', and graduated with degree in Biology. I used it, and wound up working in a Pathology lab. ...which for those that don't know, people that work in pathology labs are generally outcasts. Creepers. Weirdos that don't know how to deal with people, and prefer dead things. They don't have what we like to call "social skills." ... which is kinda true of me and kinda not. And i love it.

So, today, i'm back in school... finally getting my Masters degree as a Pathologists' Assistant. Which, yes, is like a PA, but specialized in all the goodies that come with being a PA for a Pathologist, including forensic autopsy training. My life is weird.

So, in short, i make cakes. And i cut up dead people. Now do you see why i need a blog? ...it's cheaper than a therapist. ;)
Relax... this one's cake.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Heavy stuff

You know what makes you fat? Here are a few things:

School, and sitting in one place, studying all the time
Marriage, especially to a good cook who thinks butter, heavy creme and garlic are major food groups
Cold winters in the north, and the temps that make you want to eat lots of rich food and stay inside

I've had all three in the past year, and now, nothing I own fits. Crap.

*sigh* Only one thing to do: DIET. *shudder*

So, i'm trying to make-over my life now that i'm in Houston, land of the blistering sun and squelching heat, where hiding behind lots of layers just wont do. ...In fact, if you do, you'll likely pass out from heat stroke.  Of course, the problem is, i love beer. And food. And now, instead of being in a place where you can't go out because of the snow and ice, i'm now living in a place where it is over 80 degrees by the time the sun comes up.  Which means i'm just like everyone else, guess. I'm full of excuses no matter what the temperature! *grumble*

Thanks to Hungry Girl online cookbooks, and being dirt poor at the moment, i think i can do it, though. I HAVE to do it. I can't afford new clothes. And since going naked is not an option for SO many reasons, i suppose that means it's time for a change. So, my goal? 20lbs. But i'll take even 10, if it means i can get healthy again.

Current weight: 140 (scary to put out there, in black and white, but there it is.)
At 5'2", that is not good. I've been witnessing firsthand what happens to your body when you have too much fat in your diet... Pathology is good at lifting that veil and letting you peek behind the curtain. It's so much more than vanity... it's deadly. Multiple autopsies i've been allowed to see and help with in the last month have shown just how hard it is on a heart to be even a little bit obese. And that's heavy stuff.

SO, bitching aside, i'm going to try to keep track of the struggle here. Be prepared for a lot of whining, cause it's not going to be pretty. LOL

Monday, July 4, 2011

Fourth Fun and (keeping your) fingers

I LOVE the 4th of July!!


 I love fireworks. I'm such a firebug... if playing with fire really did lead to bedwetting, i'd be sleeping in a waterbed by now. I'm serious. Fire and sparkle and light... *squeeeee!*
SO, i love the 4th for that reason, for one. It's like everyone is afflicted by the same pyro-tendencies that I am for a night. Everyone is caught up in the same insanity... it's magnificent!

 I remember watching fireworks at Disney with my family when i was a little girl, laying on the soft grass--oh, and not that "normal" St. Augustine grass like we had in our lawn, but the bug-free, velvety-soft, spongy grass that's only found on golf courses--and looking up at the wide expanse of sky, with the live orchestra playing in time with each ear-splitting *BOOM* and the crowd "Oooh-ing" together with each explosion of color and light...  It's enough to make a kid feel small and helpless, but somehow it was so empowering--and still is. I'm addicted.

I wanted sparklers at my wedding, but alas, it was not to be. They wouldn't light as we exited, so at the last minute, we used bubbles instead. 

Nice, but not the same. *shrug*  ...i mean, you can't get the same feeling from a bubble. It just reflects light, it doesn't create it.  I mean, don't get me wrong: i like Bubbles. Especially this one:

BUBBLES is by far my favorite PowerPuff girl. ;)

But i digress... FIREWORKS are where it's at, people. The loud, booming, light-up the night kind. And i'm not into having wars with them, or blowing fingers off. That's not cool. I've seen severed fingers before. It's part of my job, and i always wonder around the 4th how many more we'll get in the lab and i'll have to think: "oh, man...i wonder if this firework was really worth never being able to properly text or play angry birds again."  Sad.  (And totally not what i'm referring to.)

What i truly love the smells of summer, the feel of the grass, the light and sound, and the feeling in your chest when the bass booms along with each rocket that goes up to light up the sky, and the way your heart widens and feels FULL as you watch the magnificence of it all. THAT is celebration. And what better way to celebrate the freedoms of our God-blessed country than with something as awe-inspiring as that!?! :)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Online exams

I hate exams. I have text anxiety.  It's not a BS, made up malady, i swear. I don't know why it is that i'm not afraid of public speaking, heights, or talking a perfect stranger's ear off about crap i know (or sometimes know nothing about), but i get all spazzy and start to break out in hives the moment i have to take a test.
ME


Seriously, I must be allergic. And it's not easy to concentrate when you're having heart palpitations and itching like you just swam in poison ivy, believe me.

Unfortunately, since i voluntarily signed up for two years worth of urticaria (a fancy-schmancy, highbrow word for "hives" that consequently i was just tested on), there is no hope for relief until after graduation in May 2012. YEAH ME!

And worse? I just took an exam where you have to press the button and you get an IMMEDIATE SCORE. Do you know how awful that is?! I don't want to know! What happened to the days when i was in school and i could go weeks before knowing how i did on a test, and by the time i found out, i was over it? Technology is not necessarily making my life better. I'd like the opportunity to at least drink a beer between taking a hyperventilation-inducing exam and pressing a "submit" button to learn how i did. Is that too much to ask, really?

But nope. This exam was not only online, which has the added fear factor that suddenly my internet will cut out on me, rendering my answers obsolete, but when it told me the ones i'd missed, some of them were incorrectly keyed, so my score is not even reflective of what i know. GREAT. Just GREAT.

*laughs psychotically*