May...always a crazy month, every single year. This year is no different. But it so is.

I am done with school. DONE! Two years, over, Masters Degree accomplished, and a new job lined up.

(oh, but it should be.)

And boy what a long ordeal and a painful wait that was...but God is so good/faithful/amazing. The story is nothing short of a miracle. A well planned gift. Here is that story, as told to a good friend via email...

So i must tell of God's glory....because I made Him too small. The story i'm about to tell is not the one I thought i'd be relaying to you about my job situation. But it's so much better....

About mid April, when we last talked at length, I had planned to tell you of the wonderful job that the Lord has blessed me with within a matter of days; I thought I'd be rejoicing over the very job i'd been seeking for several months to no avail. I had heard back from the department that HR was going to send an offer letter soon, and I was sure that my months of waiting, praying, seeking His will on where I would be living and where I would be working next would be answered within DAYS. Heck... hours even. I was so excited. 

Alas, it was not to work out that way. Now, know that i am not a gifted writer like yourself, and my ability to tell all of the necessary details, and build the proper amount of tension within those details is not as finely honed a skill as your own. But here is the quick background and quick synopsis: I was on pins and needles. I had prayed for an answer about a job, and eventually I had one that was a very good offer and near my family, and God told me, "Turn it down. Wait. See what i will do." ...so without a second offer even on the table, i turned down job #1. And waited. A place where i had been an intern told me "we would love to hire you. Come interview, and we will make it happen." So i did. And it was a fantastic interview, and I left thinking "MAN...this is the job for me!" 

But i waited. and waited. And there were snags after snags and roadblocks/red tape galore, and every time i heard from them, it was a more complicated story. I was a new grad who was ELIGIBLE for the certification exam, but I had not yet taken it. I was the department's choice, but HR could not get it worked out. it was torturous, and I cannot explain the amount of agony I was in. Waiting day after day. Hearing "maybe today it will come through" from the head of the laboratory one day, and "well, we have to do such in such first and that person is out today" almost daily for a while. All knowing that my lease is ending, and without employment or at least an offer letter, i cannot renew my contract or even move into another one in the area. Frightening. 

Um...yes. THIS. But with two rings of fire.

And then, God moved. In a big way. It started off an an unexpected blessing. I was offered contract work to "make ends meet" while i waited for the real offer, and i have to tell you, it was a battle deciding if i was messing up my chances to get hired by moving my own potential start date back further and further, but I needed the money, so i took it. I worked 14 hr days for weeks, doing everything i could to keep it all afloat, and still was on pins and needles over hearing when i would finally get the offer i'd been waiting on. But it never came. False promises did come and go, and the character of some of the people i was going to be working with reared an ugly side at one point... but that is too much to go into... because the kicker is this:

I was told to wait, all the while going back and forth between giving it to God and having a heart of hope/trust/happiness and literally crying my eyes out asking if i'd waited long enough because i was so stressed out and worried that i'd not made the right decision after all to turn down a perfectly good job the first time around. But our God is faithful. And he provides. Because in a week's time, just last week, God moved mountains. And not where i thought they'd be. 

The place where i was doing contract work offered me a job out of the blue. They had no need for a full time position when i started because i was merely doing fill-in work for the people on vacation, and they told me as such up front. But it turns out, i was working for one of the guys who was using his vacation to interview elsewhere and NO ONE knew it!!! He accepted a position, resigned, and in the same breath recommended me for the job. I got it within days. DAYS. A real offer letter, and so many signs and signals from Our Provider that they COULD NOT BE IGNORED that THIS... THIS was the reason He had told me to wait. Not the other job at all. I had pleaded with God to get the right people where they needed to be in HR so that the other job (#2) could hurry up and be where it needed to be...and He was steadily roadblocking it so that job #3 had time to work out more perfectly than i could ask or imagine. I am BLOWN AWAY. Literally, on my face, then happy dance, then crying BLOWN AWAY at it all. 

OK... so no job is perfect, but come on. Awesome.

So now, i have a job. And not just a good job. Not just an offer i thought would be good for me, but a perfect fit. Where i needed to be.... and it didn't even exist a month ago. How is that for miracles and amazing news? All in good time, my friend. He sees all. He knows what we need even when we beg for "good things" He gives us better. I love Him for that. And i had to share. 

THIS. This made my day today. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-17564941

Seriously... imagine pulling over a dude dressed as Batman, driving a car with nothing but the bat-symbol as a license plate. That cop had to be laughing all day long, and hey, things worked out ok for everyone! I just hope his story about doing it "for the kids" was true... What a wonderful weirdo. :)

Welcome to my insanity-land

OK, so it's been a while since i wrote. I know. And to top it off, this post is going to be BORING, with no pictures or even a glimpse of humor. I don't have the ability for that crap at this time. If you're out there, and looking to find a cool blog to join, this isn't going to be the one. Sorry 'bout that, but you can go here --> http://www.babewalker.com/ if you need some sarcastic funny blog-love, or maybe here if you need a sweet treat to make you drool -->http://www.confessionsofacookbookqueen.com/ , cause those things aren't on the menu here today, folks.

But if you're still here after that, well, i guess you can keep reading, you poor soul.

So, i haven't written. why? well, I blame Pinterst. And school. And working part time in addition to a full-time internship. (..but mostly Pinterest.) Because, you see, i don't want to do anymore writing lately. I want to mindlessly look at pictures and dream. And if there is a thought in my head that doesn't pertain to actually accomplishing an essay, finishing a poster, finishing a study guide, making a to-do list, etc... well, i just haven't had time for it. Or at least not the energy/will/desire to do it. Not even cakes. And i love all things cake.

But i am pretty sure i'm going crazy without an outlet for my writing. I'm irrational and angry and kinda a full-blown madwoman recently in an attempt to finish things and get life in order. What a mess. Now, I claim to be a lover of all things "Adventure," but when it abounds in shocking in-your-face reality, i want a little less adventure and a little more mundane. Classic whiner, I know.

This year will be the third year in a row that the hubby and I will be in a weird state of flux in Spring, generally from all of April to the end of June. All of May is going to be insanity, and you think i'd be a little more used to it now. My internship is finally coming to a close, which is fantastic, but i would have to say that while I'm READY for it to be over, I'm definitely not PREPARED.  Those are so totally different things, I've discovered. While I'm ready to get out into the working world and be done with school, i have a terrible case of the Lazies lately, while at the same time having so much to do that I feel like a stone rolling downhill. I just want a mental/physical break... time to reconnect and unwind instead of always being so amped up. I want to know if I'm going to be hired. I want to know where we're going to live. I want to know how we are going to make any of it happen. ...i want a lot, i know, i know. It's true.

And in the midst of it all, i have had conversations with people that really got me thinking about myself and how i'm handling it all, because people have actually told me to "stop freaking out." Which i normally tell other people, not vice versa. So, i'm changing things up a bit... first of all, even in the midst of it, i can make time for me to chill out and breathe.  ...Now, i can't technically keep the husband from worrying and running around like a loony while i'm chilling, because so far i have not figured out what magic will make that happen, but i can make the choice for myself. And i don't have to feel like a horrible person for worrying when i do get overwhelmed... because i always hit this worry/guilt cycle that goes a lot like this:

OMG, i have no idea what i'm going to do...how do i handle it all? what is going to happen? how should i prepare? have i done enough??? *flies off the handle and does crazy stuff* (...followed by:) I am such a bad person. A bad Christian, too. I obviously have no faith, and no belief in His goodness or His plan. What is my problem? I shouldn't worry so much; that is weak. I must be weak. I'm not a good person. Maybe i should just do something. ANYTHING. *flies off the handle and does crazy stuff* (aaaand then a cycle back.)

Yeah. So, that has to stop.Cause lately i've totally ripped people a new one (random strangers included), or caused friends pain over remarks i've made without even thinking, or just ignored friends outright because i'm too involved with myself to deal with their issues. Self absorbed much? yep. *sigh* 

So, first step? Back to writing. Because maybe I will be able to see a little more clearly when I'm looking at myself through my own words, and less likely to use those words in a way that could be harmful to others. The second step is taking a cue from my friend Mandy, who listens to me and lets me be insane without judgement, and choose to embrace JOY. Just remembering that it is ok to scream while on the ride, but that just remembering that i'm buckled in, and holding on, and it WILL be alright. I wont die. (And if i do, it will be a lot easier, right?) So... i'm going to go find my big girl panties and put them on right now. And then i'm going to embrace the crazy, and breathe.

Shuttle Capades

So, i ride a shuttle to work everyday.---Alright, my "internship", if you want to get technical about it. I know it's free labor, but you don't gotta rub it in. Geesh.---Which is awesome, because it saves me gas, a parking fee (which even buying one doesn't secure me a spot by any means), and offers loads of entertainment.

My pimp ride, yo

And not so much from the people, as the bus drivers. They're characters. Which, i suppose you'd have to be a little crazy to drive a bus full of b*tchy people every day, weaving in and out of the Houston traffic, so I can't say i'm surprised to find out they all have a screw loose. Good people, though.  Ms. Cynthia, and Mr. Keith... they make life interesting, i tell you.

Ms Cynthia is a 50-something, "big boned", black lady, with enough Southern charm to... well, i don't know even how to finish that. I'm sure there's a good saying out there, but none come to mind. Anywhoo, she listens to Christian radio every morning when she comes to pick us up, and personally greets every singe rider with a cheery "Well, goooood mornin'!" even if they are as sour as lemons and groggy from just waking up and rushing to catch the bus. She says, "Thank you now, and have a blessed day!" to every person as they get off at their stop... Really, every person, without fail. And i and i think she really means it. This woman is kind to everyone, and remembers little things about your week, or changes your schedule and drop off location... it's uncanny.

But Lord have mercy, you should hear her rant and rave and carry on about the recent problems with the Ice Cream Delivery Man at her local grocery store. Ms. Cynthia needs "Blue Bell Buttered Pecan" ice cream like crops need rain. And when the delivery guy who stocks the freezers doesn't deliver, things Do. Not. Go. Well.                     For anyone.

I'm almost considering scouring every store in town and buying some for her, but i have yet to figure out the logistics on such a venture. I can't really see myself buying a gallon and dropping it off in place of my token one morning... or can I? I mean, she can't drive and eat it, and saving it for later when her route ends poses an issue.
'Cause, look, I'm definitely not buying the woman a cooler AND ice to go with the tub of ice cream just to get her back in a good mood. ...well, not just yet, anyway.

<----Apparently made with more than just sugar. It sweets people for REAL, yo.

Booze Cakes

Ok, so have alreade confessed i like making cakes. And eating. And drinking. And not working out. *sigh* But i digress...

Today, after work, i combined two things i love the most: Cake (and giving it away, because everyone needs a sweet pick-me-up surprise) and alcohol. Yep. Booze Cake. Which incidentally, is the name of a great book i want to buy. In case you couldn't guess, it's all about alcoholic cakes...or at least ones that are inspired by great drinks.

But since i don't actually OWN it yet, i decided to do a little creating on my own, with a new favorite of mine: Patron XO cafe. A master in disguise. Is it tequila? A coffee liqueur? BOTH, my friends. And fabulous in coffee, or in a small cordial glass at the end of a long day.

Now, normally, I'm not a huge tequila fan. I do have the occasional margarita (i do live in Tx now, and having one now and again is a must), but this stuff is so silky smooth, and really like a sweet espresso...with a bit of a spicy kick. YUM! And i love coffee. Chocolote covered coffee beans, too... which got me thinking. This stuff could be the perfect addition to a cake, either baked right in, or brushed on after it cooled, nestled right there between the cake and the frosting. Like a "BOY HOWDY" for your palate!

And paired with coconut and two kinds of chocolate? What could possibly go wrong with that?!

NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Except losing all willpower to lose weight and trying a few myself, of course. But that's considered quality control.

So, i'm proud to report, the Patron XO Cafe Cake is pretty tasty. And since i made them as cakeballs, they're shippable, too. Any takers? ;)

Mixed Up

I love cake. Baking them, decorating them, eating them... it's such fun. The house smells so good when there is fresh cake in the oven. Of course, the decorating is my favorite part, even when it takes weeks of prep and planning. Right now, i have two superfun cakes on the horizon, and a I daydream about them all the time, mulling over ideas and techniques in my head on how to make it come out right.

One of them is for a little girl's birthday party, where she wants everything Princess-ized. NO, really. They even get a limo (?!) to take them around in...

...although just where a 6 yr. old goes in a limo, i have no idea. McDonalds, maybe? http://girlthangparties.com/home.html
Anyway... i get to make the cake, and i'm pumped. This is not just "any customer" either, but the daughter of a good friend of mine who I met at my first job as a histotech, years ago. We haven't seen each other in years, and now she's pregnant with her second little one (about to pop), and i'm excited to hug her neck and catch up on what's new. Since we started working together, so much has happened... I've gotten married, stopped being a histotech to go back to school and become a PA, moved to Chicago and back to Tx again, ...and she's found love, moved cities, changed jobs though is still a histotech in a new lab, and has a new baby on the way.  Hurray for old friends! And cake makes it all possible.

Why cake is the food of choice for parties and celebrations, i'm not quite sure. I'm glad of it, don't get me wrong... because i'd make and eat it either way. But my hubby asked me recently: "Why cake? How is it that cake is elevated to 'superstar status' on birthdays and weddings instead of pie or pudding or cheesecake?" ...this coming from the man who loves cheesecake and chocolate above all other desserts. In fact, we had it at our wedding instead of cake. ...but in truth, i don't know, really...and I feel i should, so I'm going to look it up and post it here. (I'll ask Google. Google knows everything, you know.)


... ahhh... so here it is if you've ever wondered: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthday_cake  Leave it to the Germans! Wikipedia says, "In the 15th century, bakeries in Germany conceived the idea of marketing one-layer cakes for customers' birthdays as well as for only their weddings, and thus the modern birthday cake was born." Well, hot dang. I'm decended from some pretty brillant people, I have to say. It could have been any dessert, but cake....well, it "took the cake", so to speak. ;) Sorry. I'm feeling especially punny right now.

So, now i'm going back and forth between doing school work, and letting the creativity bubble up as I design the best princess cake ever. Delivery next week... and pics to follow.

Changes and upgrades in scenery

Ok, so i'm changing up the blog look. Not so much the feel, cause i'm sure it will still be random silly ramblings that come to me at odd times... but it is at least getting a bit of a focus.

For those that "follow" (what the heck? why on earth would you do that?!), here's a quick backgroud on the duality of me:

I started cake decorating as a means to an end. My parents weren't about to pay for school, so when i lost my scholarship (Uh, huh... bad apple right here), i had to find a job. I went into wal-mart, and was looking at cakes on a whim. What?!? ...Hey, i like cakes even when there is no occasion, ok? Don't judge me.
Anyway, i was looing at cakes, and a smart ass nice lady asked, "hey, you ever decorated cakes before, 'cause we need help like YESTERDAY, and you can start now!" Little did i know, she was being mouthy to her boss, who kept nagging her that she was too slow and needed help. I said "Yep. i do that." (i didn't at the time) And i was hired on the spot.
So, thus my training began. I found that i was pretty good at it, and liked it enough to leave walmart and starting doing cakes on my own. And Heffycakes.com was born.

Now, i did finish my undergrad, thanks to the odd jobs and a lot of cake makin', and graduated with degree in Biology. I used it, and wound up working in a Pathology lab. ...which for those that don't know, people that work in pathology labs are generally outcasts. Creepers. Weirdos that don't know how to deal with people, and prefer dead things. They don't have what we like to call "social skills." ... which is kinda true of me and kinda not. And i love it.

So, today, i'm back in school... finally getting my Masters degree as a Pathologists' Assistant. Which, yes, is like a PA, but specialized in all the goodies that come with being a PA for a Pathologist, including forensic autopsy training. My life is weird.

So, in short, i make cakes. And i cut up dead people. Now do you see why i need a blog? ...it's cheaper than a therapist. ;)

Relax... this one's cake.

Heavy stuff

You know what makes you fat? Here are a few things:

School, and sitting in one place, studying all the time
Marriage, especially to a good cook who thinks butter, heavy creme and garlic are major food groups
Cold winters in the north, and the temps that make you want to eat lots of rich food and stay inside

I've had all three in the past year, and now, nothing I own fits. Crap.

*sigh* Only one thing to do: DIET. *shudder*

So, i'm trying to make-over my life now that i'm in Houston, land of the blistering sun and squelching heat, where hiding behind lots of layers just wont do. ...In fact, if you do, you'll likely pass out from heat stroke.  Of course, the problem is, i love beer. And food. And now, instead of being in a place where you can't go out because of the snow and ice, i'm now living in a place where it is over 80 degrees by the time the sun comes up.  Which means i'm just like everyone else, guess. I'm full of excuses no matter what the temperature! *grumble*

Thanks to Hungry Girl online cookbooks, and being dirt poor at the moment, i think i can do it, though. I HAVE to do it. I can't afford new clothes. And since going naked is not an option for SO many reasons, i suppose that means it's time for a change. So, my goal? 20lbs. But i'll take even 10, if it means i can get healthy again.

Current weight: 140 (scary to put out there, in black and white, but there it is.)
At 5'2", that is not good. I've been witnessing firsthand what happens to your body when you have too much fat in your diet... Pathology is good at lifting that veil and letting you peek behind the curtain. It's so much more than vanity... it's deadly. Multiple autopsies i've been allowed to see and help with in the last month have shown just how hard it is on a heart to be even a little bit obese. And that's heavy stuff.

SO, bitching aside, i'm going to try to keep track of the struggle here. Be prepared for a lot of whining, cause it's not going to be pretty. LOL

Fourth Fun and (keeping your) fingers

I LOVE the 4th of July!!

 I love fireworks. I'm such a firebug... if playing with fire really did lead to bedwetting, i'd be sleeping in a waterbed by now. I'm serious. Fire and sparkle and light... *squeeeee!*
SO, i love the 4th for that reason, for one. It's like everyone is afflicted by the same pyro-tendencies that I am for a night. Everyone is caught up in the same insanity... it's magnificent!

 I remember watching fireworks at Disney with my family when i was a little girl, laying on the soft grass--oh, and not that "normal" St. Augustine grass like we had in our lawn, but the bug-free, velvety-soft, spongy grass that's only found on golf courses--and looking up at the wide expanse of sky, with the live orchestra playing in time with each ear-splitting *BOOM* and the crowd "Oooh-ing" together with each explosion of color and light...  It's enough to make a kid feel small and helpless, but somehow it was so empowering--and still is. I'm addicted.

I wanted sparklers at my wedding, but alas, it was not to be. They wouldn't light as we exited, so at the last minute, we used bubbles instead. 

Nice, but not the same. *shrug*  ...i mean, you can't get the same feeling from a bubble. It just reflects light, it doesn't create it.  I mean, don't get me wrong: i like Bubbles. Especially this one:

BUBBLES is by far my favorite PowerPuff girl. ;)

But i digress... FIREWORKS are where it's at, people. The loud, booming, light-up the night kind. And i'm not into having wars with them, or blowing fingers off. That's not cool. I've seen severed fingers before. It's part of my job, and i always wonder around the 4th how many more we'll get in the lab and i'll have to think: "oh, man...i wonder if this firework was really worth never being able to properly text or play angry birds again."  Sad.  (And totally not what i'm referring to.)

What i truly love the smells of summer, the feel of the grass, the light and sound, and the feeling in your chest when the bass booms along with each rocket that goes up to light up the sky, and the way your heart widens and feels FULL as you watch the magnificence of it all. THAT is celebration. And what better way to celebrate the freedoms of our God-blessed country than with something as awe-inspiring as that!?! :)

Online exams

I hate exams. I have text anxiety.  It's not a BS, made up malady, i swear. I don't know why it is that i'm not afraid of public speaking, heights, or talking a perfect stranger's ear off about crap i know (or sometimes know nothing about), but i get all spazzy and start to break out in hives the moment i have to take a test.

ME

Seriously, I must be allergic. And it's not easy to concentrate when you're having heart palpitations and itching like you just swam in poison ivy, believe me.

Unfortunately, since i voluntarily signed up for two years worth of urticaria (a fancy-schmancy, highbrow word for "hives" that consequently i was just tested on), there is no hope for relief until after graduation in May 2012. YEAH ME!

And worse? I just took an exam where you have to press the button and you get an IMMEDIATE SCORE. Do you know how awful that is?! I don't want to know! What happened to the days when i was in school and i could go weeks before knowing how i did on a test, and by the time i found out, i was over it? Technology is not necessarily making my life better. I'd like the opportunity to at least drink a beer between taking a hyperventilation-inducing exam and pressing a "submit" button to learn how i did. Is that too much to ask, really?

But nope. This exam was not only online, which has the added fear factor that suddenly my internet will cut out on me, rendering my answers obsolete, but when it told me the ones i'd missed, some of them were incorrectly keyed, so my score is not even reflective of what i know. GREAT. Just GREAT.

*laughs psychotically*

The more things change...

How do i capture a month's worth of insanity and changes into a short blog?! Impossible. (for me, anyway.)

However, i am so behind on the blogging that I feel guilty for neglecting such big events, though they was not a moment to spare recently to even sit down and write about it! May has proved to be an insane month two years running. Last may was the wedding, buying a house, starting school after a decade of absence, and all the mishaps that come with moving one's life across country.
This may was almost a repeat of last year... with no changes in the "status" department unless you want to be picky and say we're no longer "newlyweds" since we survived our first year of marriage without any major trauma. (besides the occasional breakdown from yours truly, over huge events like not being able to find an important piece of paper--usually one due the next day--in a messy, tool-filled room littered with various construction equipment and boxes that had yet to be unpacked. THAT was fun, but survivable.)
So now, we are settled (mostly) in Houston for the next 10 months. In a little apartment we are very happy with. The GETTING to this point was epic, though. And a quick run-through:
It took 3 days to get to Houston from Waukegan, in a 16' Penske truck that was filled to the brim. I do not envy the early settlers who traveled for months on end, all their crap in tow, via wagon.  Bouncy Penke truck and little SUV (and two pissed off cats) is better by a few degrees, but still not pleasant. Less so when we arrived, road weary and exhausted, to find that our apartment was not habitable. Slight panic. Ok... ugly cry in the lobby panic. I saw dollar signs flash before my eyes, cartoon-style, at the thought of keeping the moving van longer than we had it already... and our already strapped bank accounts were not looking promising at keeping us afloat for days while the apartment people "worked it out."  Thanks to a bit of help (and encouragement) from dad and a visit to the managment the next day, we got out of the lease with only our application fee and a night's stay in a local hotel lost. Even still, we were back at square one with no place to go, and not a lot of direction. So, we hit up the internet, and started making the rounds to find anywhere within budget that would let us move in immediately. Within the next 12 hours, (and a lot of phone calls and faxes) we were able to secure a one bedroom in a spot we really loved. Smaller and a little more expensive than our first plan, it was STILL such a blessing to finally have a clean, safe, available apartment. :)
Although we still live in a sort of "box fort" and will probably be unpacking for a while longer, things are mostly settled, and tomorrow i begin my inernship. HURRAY! One year gone, just under one more to go, and i'll be graduated and on my way... and all of this has been well worth everything the last year has brought, for sure.
Just one more thing: i love the heat. And i sure did miss Texas.

Bombshell Blonde

Last weekend I got to have one of the most awesome, rejuvenating experences ever, and with some of the world's best girlfriends. We've been wanting to plan something fun as a "last harrah" before we all left school in North Chicago for our clinical sites around the country, and the ideas have been passed around for months.  ...until, that is, Kristy looked into doing a photoshoot, 50's "pinup" style. She'd signed up to win a one-night group photoshoot...and won! 5 of us (yours truly, included) got to have an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience in downtown Chicago with a professional team of makeup/hair artists and photographers... and until that night, i didn't realize how very, very much i needed to feel pretty again.

School and marriage has reaked havoc on my body, and my self-esteem. I know i'm a lucky woman. The chance to go to back to school, an amazing husband who cooks gormet food, and a curvy "volumptous" body gained from it all. But holy crap, am i depressed about it sometimes instead of grateful.  Not that i tell my hubby this. He's awesome. But we girls know that sometimes NO ONE can tell you that you're pretty; it's all about our own impressions of it, and how we feel in our own skin from day to day, and a lot of days i just feel fat and ugly, and depressed about it.  ...so i "eat my feelings" with a second cookie, of course. ;)

But last saturday? Fabulous. No other words can explain how amazing it was to feel like a real pinup model. Pictures have yet to come back, but a few of the girls brought cameras to document the event and get some fun before/after shots... and here are a few of my favorites (retouched by yours truly.) 

The inspiration...



Before shot... with my inspiration drink of choice



After hair/makeup/wardrobe.. and feeling fabulous!

Analyzing the anatomy clipboard... pinup style

LOL. Love it. Pinup meets Pathology!

...So grateful for the chance to do this. And to feel fabulous for a night with some of the best friends i've ever known. Every girl needs to feel beautiful,  get a chance to get out of the scrubs for a day, and channel their inner bombshell!







I can't really think of what to say in response to Osama Bin Laden's death...but here's a little of what's been said that i can agree with...

First, Gwen, a blog i follow that's every so much more intersting than mine. (Or at least more devoted to the craft of blogging, anyway.)
http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/

But secondly, a more in-depth Godly view:
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/is-god-glad-osama-bin-ladens-dead

and then, this quote:
"I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

But Mark Twain was able to put it into a single line:

Either way, i do know this: Celebrating the lives of  Godly men/women is so much more enriching than celebrating the death of one evil man. I think wasting one minute more even thinking of Osama--much less taking time out to celebrate this day--is a minute too much. To be completely forgotten after a few moments of reflection is more than he deserves.

I've decided to retire...

So, i've had this epiphany. i know i'm in grad school and all, aaaaaand i haven't had a job in almost a year, ...but i'm considering early retirement. Hanging out with my grandma has showed me that it's everything i'd hoped it would be and more. Since coming to Florida and staying at her house, we've gotten up when we wanted, eaten chocolate for breakfast, lounged around in our PJ's til mid-morning, done some shopping (fueled by lunches at Olive Garden,where we gorged ourselves on salad and breadsticks before entrees arrived), and retied to the house by 5pm for happy hour (wine and/or a glass of sherry). Oh, and later it's ice cream (before dinner, not after, because you want to have room for it in case dinner is too filling) in front of the big flat screen TV, watching anything fun that catches our fancy as long as it's not too sad or could be considered educational, before heading off to bed.

Scatter in some gossiping, a little time in the garden checking out the amazing things that have begun to blossom, the occasional "get together" across town, an art project or two (but nothing that has to be done if a nap attack suddenly strikes)... and yeahhh, that pretty much sums it up. And they want me to go back to the real world tomorrow?!? Pfff. I've tasted the good life, and i'm as good as ruined!

Unfortunately, my g'ma says that in order to make this happen sooner rather than later, i have to somehow:
1) Become independently wealthy, or
2) Marry rich and become a housewife (no kids, though, those totally ruin the plan), or
3) Get myself a magic genie, and make good use of those wishes.

None of which seem to be on my horizon. *sigh*


...though on the other hand, she also told me that the trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Which sounds an awful lot like work, to me. So maybe i'll stick with plan A for now, and just work in a few more "retirement weekends" every now and then to keep me going. Kudos, grandma, for your wisdom--on dessert and life.

Angry nights and Mournings

So i'm going to pretend it hasn't been forever since i've last posted, and do a quick catchup since last time:
Haven't lost weight at bootcamp, thanks to getting ill, including a sinus infection which set me back from working out a good two weeks. Oh well. Not the biggest worry... Right now, i'm actually in FLORIDA (land of warmth and sunshine), although the circumstances are less than ideal to say the least.

My Uncle Dave passed away this time last week, when my Aunt finally had the courage to pull the plug, and say her goodbyes. He'd gone downhill rapidly in the past month or so, although he'd been fighting Stage IV colon cancer for over two years. I say that, but really, the number is more like 5 years.. he just didn't tell anyone prior to that. Which is really the tragedy of it all. I work in Pathology. I spend hours each day in school right now, learning about the staging of cancers, the patterns of disease, the ultimate demise of the human body, and how it we wage war against it at every step. And time and time again, i'm awestruck by how many people IGNORE warning signs altogether, and prefer to live in complete and utter denial, usually fueled by fear. Prevention can be easy, at least with good insurance... but that's not really the issue.  Even when people have insurance, and the ability to go for checkups and look into issues when they are sick, so often they don't bother to go at all, or YEARS after they notice something is wrong. Or they neglect to take their medication as prescribed when they know it is the key to keeping the sickness at bay. ...and for so many reasons. We want to be healthy, we want doctors to have "magical cures" but so often people are so outright neglectful of their own health, and then pissed that they can't be made whole again. I mean the disconnect is stunning when you think about it.
My Uncle hid his illness until he absolutely couldn't any longer, and he was taken to the hospital for seemingly "benign" reasons (a hernia issue, i believe was what he claimed), but he had to know by then that things were far worse than he wanted to believe or let on. And even after the diagnosis, he lived like there were a million tomorrows around the corner. He didn't even prepare a will, and he lived for two years after being initially diagnosed. Even in the face of returning to the hospital to have surgery for a metastasis in his brain, he allowed his wife to think that things were better than they were, and (i'm sure) believed these things himself.
And his story is not uncommon. In Pathology, we get the tiniest biopsies for preventative care, and the most horrific, grotesque, unbelievable specimens you can possibly imagine from doctor's offices and hospitals where you just know the person was more afraid of the treatment or diagnosis than whatever the pain or lesion happened to inflict, so they just let things go. But it's so SENSELESS, and it makes me so angry, and upset and... ultimately, saddened.
I'm mourning the passing of my uncle, and grieving with my family over his death, but i'm also genuinely pissed off that he could be so stupid and neglectful in a way that ultimately affected his family more than it affected him. To ignore pain and blood and whatever signs/symptoms he may have had in favor of living a lie is not bravery. It is cowardice. Not filling out a will, or preparing for your death so that you leave a plan for your wife to carry on without you is not courageous. It is stupid, and the effects are long lasting.
Now my grandparents bare the bulk of the responsibility to help their daughter-in-law, who was left devastated both by my uncle's death, and his reckless way of living his last few years on earth. How unfair is THAT!?
... So anyway, i'm in Florida. And not in Illinois (where it's snowing as i type this). And I'm trying to be a comforter and a maintain a mournful air about it all, but I am not alone in thinking that some tragedies are not merely sad because of the devastation caused, but by the realization that so much of the damage could have been prevented.

HOUSE FOR SALE!

Why haven't people bought our house yet?! it's awesome. And we had good weather all weekend, PERFECT for stoppin' by and checking out the world's most adorable house, and not a single person stopped by. *sigh*

Perhaps i was spoiled by the 28day run from "on the market" to "sold" with the last house.

But...but.. this house is cooler. And we need it sold more despirately. Like, yesterday.

So, come on, people. Start linin' up around the block to take a look, already! I feel like i need to do one of those awful hometown commercials, complete with the awful jingle and bad acting. ...maybe i can convice the husband that this is a good plan, and way better than using ReMaxx. It's probably a terrible idea, but dang it. Necessity is the mother of invention...(or is it the mother of insanity?)

It would say "One time only weekend blowout sale!" Or: "AWESOME HOUSE, CRAZY LOW PRICE! " And there would be a circus theme with balloons, and a big blowup gorilla on the roof like they have at car dealerships. (why do they have those anyway?!?)

Truth be told, i'm not terribly worried yet. It hasn't been on the market long at all. And i have faith that it will sell in time enough for us to move to Houston before my internship starts. But one wonders if a little creativity wouldn't hurt...

OWCH.

So sore from "workout bootcamp" that the only thing left that i can do without pain is typing. I'm sure they'll find a way to work my fingers out next session or something, though... Some weird form of finger pushups while suspended from a torture appratus or something. (no, seriously they have one. It looks like this:)

Do you see that thing?! It looks like a jungle gym gone wrong. All i will be able to do is cry on the floor, making sure not to sob openly lest my ab muscles constrict slightly and cause another wave of pain.

However, i'm proud that i've survived almost a full week of this torture. I'd better look like Jillian Michaels by the end of this, or i'm gonna be pissed.

Working Title

 I'm such a blogging slacker! And there isn't even anyone to disappoint if i don't post, but i feel as though i should...

This last semester of my 1st grad school year is killer. My husband just texted me to set up a date night for friday... and even though i said "yes, of course!" and i'm excited that he would even do such a thing, in the back of my mind i'm feeling guilty for taking the night off already. LOL. Pathetic. But, in my defense, I'm already having to scramble to get caught up. I have quizzes/exams/projects/papers and extra credit due that i'm behind on already, and it's only the 2nd week.
...though if i got a grade in facebooking, i'd probably be able to pull of an A with very little effort. Meh. Let's not talk about my defensive arguments i've already got lined up in case anyone else ever points that out, shall we?

i also started a new workout regime. It goes beyond saying "you know, i'd like to get rid of the 15lbs i've found since moving to Chicago...so i'll lose it the way i put it on: slowly." OH, no. It involves daily workouts (or at least 5 a week), including cardio for 45min and some minor weightlifting. Given that i'm bored VEEEEEEERY easily, i've had to switch it up a lot. Eliptical, running (while reading power point slides from lecture that morning if i'm feeling extra awesome that day), a little row machine action, some Zumba DVDs with classmates, ..and the latest: a bootcamp class. 
Becoming healthy is gonna kill me.

Home ?

I'm back in Illinois, Ya'll  Youz Guys! Texas wanted me to stay, and i was torn... sleep in my own bed and see the fuzzy love-balls that were missing me as much as i missed them, or stay where it was warm and sunny and i could feel Spring happening already. School--and the final semester of the first year!--starting on Monday tipped the scales, so i headed back. After 11 hours of travel (thanks to choosing the cheapest flight plan possible, which included a 3 hour layover in ATL airport), and planes filled with screaming babies, i'm actually glad to be here.

Toak seemed happy to see me again. He even helped me unpack. ...sorta.

Unfortunately, the Mister didn't come back with me. He's stayed behind in Texas for a bit longer to help his parents with the giant task of getting their house ready to sell. (It seems we are quickly becoming experts in this field.) It's a lot of chaos, to be sure. Us moving, them moving, job/career changes for all four of us...all within the next 3 months. Whoohoo! There's bound to be at least one minor breakdown in the future, all of which i plan to blog about in full detail. *insert evil laugh here* 

Now if i could just get out of Vacation Mode and start the studying that is already necessary to make it through this last quarter before the internship, that'd be fan-freakin'-tastic. This calls for coffee.

Time flies when you're shooting guns

One week of vacation down, one more to go.

Glad to be back in Texas, visiting family, NOT studying (though i should be considering I have an exam the second day we're back in school) being warm, doing some target practice, and getting things done in preparation for the move in May.

Our "Recon Mission" in Houston went well, though we still haven't exactly decided on a place to live yet, come May. (I think we saw more apartments in two days than was necessary, but nothing really hit all of the wishlist criteria, so we'll have to comprimise on either price or location or square footage... which is to be expected.) Still, we like the medical center area in general, and it's really close to a bunch of things we think we'll enjoy like the Houston Zoo, the Museum District, and Rice University's "Rice Village" area which is full of awesome shops and bistros. Now we just have to decide if the living on the Metro ("Light Rail") Houston is worth the extra cost or not. 

While reading reviews of the Metra system online, i found this gem online from some random reviewer, which i have to admit i laughed outloud when i read. The following is an excerpt from his very in-depth review. :


"...But by far my favorite thing is the sort of rubbish that I hear whilst on the Metro.  Sure there is the occasional irresponsibly loud cell-phone-talker, or the incoherent guy who mumbles to himself, but it is the loud friends that babble and complain together about urban redevelopment and "how it used to be" that really crack me up. Two such complainers were on last night, and at first their conversation was a bit boring, but the last 30 seconds I heard before I got off was pure hilarity.

Dude 1: "Man, f*ck that Johnny brotha"
Dude 2: "YA!... wait... why...?  I think he is alright"
Dude 1: "That jerk has a girl AND a car!"
Dude 2: "YA!... wait... I think those are good things..."
Dude 1: "Well ya, but man, I gots me a good job, and I can't afford neither"

aaaand scene.

I love you Metro Houston, I truly do."  --review by AdamO.


So, yeah. i think i may have made a decision. Thank you, AdamO.